When I decided to become a lawyer, my sights were set on one goal: becoming a partner at a law firm. I was only 15 years old.
Yep, even as a teenager, I was a perfectionist and overachiever. I saw “making partner” as the ultimate accolade because, well, it meant everything to Mitch McDeere. Who’s that? Oh, he’s the fictional protagonist in The Firm by John Grishman. I wish I were joking, but I was a mock trial “attorney” and an avid reader in the mid 1990’s, so Grisham was my inspiration and guidebook.
Fast forward nearly 25 years later. When I launched JMT Speaks, I told myself: “I’m going to give a TEDx talk one day.” I knew that being on a TEDx stage would allow me to share my thoughts about living an authentic life with a vast audience. Indeed, the very point of becoming a professional speaker was to amplify authenticity by sharing my story and experiences with the world.
But… if I’m being honest, deep down I wanted to give a TEDx talk because I thought it would mean I made it. Just like making partner as a lawyer at a firm, I viewed standing on that stage as the crowning achievement for a professional speaker. I needed a brass ring to reach for and grab to prove I am at the top of the game.
Until now.
I no longer need to give a TEDx talk. Sure, it’d be awesome and maybe it’ll happen one day. But I no longer need it to prove my worth. It’s taken me over 40 years to come to this conclusion, but I don’t need to measure my success using traditional standards. I don’t need another brass ring in my jewelry box. Why?
I get to decide my self-worth. I get to define what success means to me. And so do you!
For me, success used to mean making partner. I will always be immensely proud that I achieved that goal – at only 34 years old! But by the time I left private practice, I realized (somehow, to my surprise) that my identify and self-worth were tied up in my title at the firm. Eek!
Now I’m successful because I love what I do. Success for JMT Speaks is JMT speaking. Whether I give a talk to ten people or 100 people, I’m getting the opportunity to do what I love and excel at. I get to be a storyteller. When I write my newsletter and post a blog, I’m putting my written words out in the world. I’m not doing it for the “likes,” as the kids say.
And most importantly, my self-worth is not wrapped up in a promotion or found on a stage. It’s tied to me living in accordance with my moral compass, ensuring my core values guide me so I live an authentic life.
It’s ok if I don’t add another brass ring to my jewelry box. I have all the bling I need.
For more of Jennifer Marino Thibodaux’s content, check out www.jmtspeaks.com and sign up to receive her blog, personal and professional development tips, and book reviews! Don’t forget to follow her on Instagram and LinkedIn for more wisdom and wit.
